I took a much-needed break at the end of December into the first two weeks of January to refresh. On my end, December brought with it several deaths, hospitalizations, and holiday cards that were just depressing. It made me feel sad, so I decided to take a break and readjust my thinking.
How was your holiday and how are you currently feeling? Hopefully, you had a better experience. Finding a stress reliever is very important to one’s mental wellbeing. When I get stressed, I clean. It’s a blessing in some ways. The clean rooms make me happy when I am done. That sense of accomplishment really shifts my mindset completely and everything just looks a little brighter.
Shifting your Mindset – Yes, you can
The beginning of a new year is always a reflective time. We reflect on loved ones who may have entered the world or left it. We reflect on our accomplishments over the past year, and we often tend to focus more on disappointments and the things we did not accomplish. These reflections are our reality and even if we try to be positive, it may be difficult – especially in these times.
Change what you can control
Instead of getting caught in the negative spiral, can you make a pivot? What if you turned your attention to what you CAN control or change. We can’t change the fact we are still in a pandemic. We can’t change what people believe, and we can’t change the past. What we can change is our mindset.
A dress rehersal?
Here’s another way of looking at it. We are in a new normal. Can we use this disruption in our lives as a dress rehearsal for other events that occur in our life unexpectedly? You can certainly change how prepared you are if something happens. Living in California, we need to be prepared for earthquakes and wildfires. Other areas of the country have hurricanes, tornados, etc. To prepare and not be caught off guard, ask yourself, is your paperwork in order and in a place where it can be protected (fire, water, or theft) and retrieved by someone trustworthy (will, trust, power of attorney). Have you identified who will speak for you if you can’t, and do they know? Shit happen and as the saying goes, be ready to get ready.
How do you want to live your life?
You rarely have time for everything you want in this life, so you need to make choices. And hopefully, your choices can come from a deep sense of who you are.
Fred Rogers
A person posted on my Instagram account a few weeks ago, “prepare for the worse and hope for the best. Flexibility – make the most of every situation. ” This was in response to a post where I quoted Mr. Rogers. The quote says “you rarely have time for everything you want in this life, so you need to make choices. And hopefully, your choices can come from a deep sense of who you are.” Well said, Mr. Rogers, well said! I want to be in your neighborhood.
Changing the narrative
It’s about flexibility and perhaps switching the narrative to what we can control. For me, when I just didn’t want to do anything of substance, I cleaned.
Was it the physical activity or just the sense of accomplishment of getting things around the house in order and then taking a break? A clean laundry room and closet may seem silly, but when you are in there daily it is a big deal.
How you can change your mindset – subtract
What can you do? There are some simple things you can do to reset your mindset. The quote below may give you an idea.
When things aren’t adding up in your life, start subtracting
Anonymous
For me, it means cleaning and getting rid of things (subtracting). I cleaned out the closet and donated clothes I no longer needed (that was incredibly cathartic).
I donated several items (well maybe more than several) of my clothing to ThredUp. The link is provided. They do consignment, and if I get anything for those jackets and tops I haven’t worn – great! If not, after a period of time they donate the clothes. Out of my closet into someone else’s that want it. That’s a great subtraction win and it makes me feel good. https://www.thredup.com
My husband finally agreed to purge the business suits that no longer fit him. For that, we went to Working Wardrobes. What a wonderful experience I had when I dropped them off. They were grateful for the clothing, extremely well organized and it made parting with those suits not so painful for my husband. Here’s the link https://www.workingwardrobes.org
For the rest of the items of clothes, shoes, hats, etc. they went to Savers https://www.savers.com They were so helpful as Goodwill refused to take the clothes because they were full. I recommend finding a site in your area that has both compassion and customer service.
Marie Kondo, you are an inspiration.
Cleaning up can also mean subtracting people or activities in your life that, as Marie Kondo would say, don’t bring you joy. It’s hard to do with family, but some friendships or activities may not be your jam right now. You can step away a bit from that person or activity and focus on the things that do bring you enjoyment and pleasure. Find things that spark joy.
As an older adult, time flies faster than you can imagine, so if you have your paperwork in order, your wishes made clear, start getting rid of stuff you don’t use. Give it away, donate, or just toss. Maybe then you can be clear to do something as small as reading a book, finding new friends, or taking up a new hobby. It’s your life and it’s short, so do what you love and give you joy!
To see how you can reframe your thinking, I encourage you to read below the words of this poem (sorry, I don’t have the author) and then reread it, this time from the bottom up.
You are never too old to set another goal, or to dream a new dream.
C.S. Lewis
Read top down and the read again bottom up
Today was the absolute worst day ever
And don’t try to convince me that
There’s something good in every day
Because, when you take a closer look,
This world is a pretty evil place.
Even if
Some goodness does shine through once in a while
Satisfaction and happiness don’t last.
And it’s not true that
It’s all in the mind and heart
Because
True happiness can be attained
Only if one’s surroundings are good
It’s not true that good exists
I’m sure you can agree that
The reality
Creates
My attitude
It’s all beyond my control
And you’ll never in a million years hear me say
Today was a very good day
